- Sex is pretty important for the majority of people in intimate relationships.
- According to psychologist Madeleine A. Fugère, there are four scientific ways sex brings couples closer together.
Sex is a vital part of romantic relationships for many people, apart from maybe those who are asexual. For everyone else, it is what separates an intimate relationship from any other friendship.
For some people, the lack of sex in a partnership may lead them to be unfaithful. Not necessarily because they want out of the relationship, but because their needs aren't being met.
According to psychologist Madeleine A. Fugère, sex is so important in a relationship because scientifically it brings people closer together and forms bonds.
She explained in a blog post on Psychology Today that there are four scientific ways sex makes you feel closer to your partner.
Here they are:
1. Oxytocin
Also known as the "love hormone," oxytocin reduces stress and increases feelings of closeness and trust between people. A study from 2012 found that couples who were together over six months had higher baseline levels of oxytocin than those who had broken up over that time.
Oxytocin is released after orgasm, and also makes you feel closer to the one you're with. In other words, regular sex may make it less likely you'll want to cheat.
2. Pillow talk
When couples have intimate chats in bed, usually after sex, it's called "pillow talk." The more they share, the more related satisfaction they are likely to feel, according to a study from 2012. Sharing secrets and personal information with each other is likely to increase intimacy, and thus lead to more sexual desire for each other.
3. Afterglow
According to a study from 2017, sexual afterglow is "enhanced sexual satisfaction that lingers following sexual activity."
"In essence, some couples stay sexually satisfied long after intercourse has ended," wrote Fugère. "In some couples, their sexual satisfaction lasts for up to two full days. Furthermore, the longer their sexual afterglow lasted, the more marital satisfaction couples reported over time."
4. Brain activity
When feeling sexual desire, some areas of the brain — the thalamus, hippocampus, and anterior cingulate cortex — are activated. Other research has found how the anterior cingulate cortex, the insula, and the posterior cingulate cortex were active when people looked at pictures of their loved ones of erotic photos of strangers. The suggestion of these results is that love can grow from feelings of sexual desire.
"Whether your relationship is brand new or decades old, good sex can make your relationship closer," wrote Fugère.